Thursday, August 26, 2010
Track My (Inner) B*tch Or Fertility Or Whatever
Track My B*tch
Very cool gadgets out there! Found one for tracking my period for free (monthlyinfo.com) which provides text or email update alerts which can be set to x number days before/after a period or ovulation. Personally, I've had hormone issues after a terrible debacle with a Mirena IUD which released tons of artificial progestin into storage in my fat cells. They all apparently poured out when the IUD was extracted 2+ years ago and only recently abated for the most part. FYI Synthetic hormones S*CK. They are endocrine disruptors and scr*w the adrenals, cortisol, insulin, body fat, libido, bone density, gut/B12 absorption and thousands of other different pathways and biochemical cascades.
Programs like Track My B*tch and Code Red are discussed by Esquire's sex columnist, Ms. Stacey Grenrock Woods and her recent article in the August issue, How to Track Her Period. Digitally.
She is so goooood. I dig her archives.
My friends know I'm awful with my calendar, and worse, knowing when I'm doing things... like ovulating... or about to have my period. Honestly 27-28 day cycles are hard to track.
Anyway. Ms. Woods reviewed the iPhone apps out there for the value of preventing a homicide from the consequences of PMS ('pack-my-suitcase') females syndromes and potential benefits. *haa* Men. Take note. $1.99 is little to pay to stay out of our way.
For those trying to coordinate the fusion of a sperm and an egg... these are cool devices! I like the neat calendar, export features and data entry (I put in signs of high estrogen days, e.g. SKINNY days, and the estrogen withdrawal days, e.g. FAT-ATTEND-XFIT days).
I first read about this concept, concealed conception, in Sex at Dawn and The Red Queen, and realized, yes, humans are quite special. Other than certain bird species, we are one of the few animals with concealed conception where obvious signs of ovulation are hidden and extremely subtle. Yes. Grrrls don't even know. Vague scent and pheromones changes, hair/nail/skin slight luminosity, minuscule waist size declines, mood slightly chirpier, higher testosterone (better strength and performance) are insignificant indications of major hormone and mounting ovulatory action. Hormones. They can ROCK and RULE because they play an enormous role in human sexual evolution and survival. Female hormones vary daily. Or, some conjecture hourly *haa*. See top diagram. It's based on that egg-precursor. Men on the other hand hardly vary staying rock steady except when driving on the freeway and those rare moments of road rage.